My mother!

During this festival season of “Xmas and New Year” I miss this person so much!

My mother!
She has gone for ever.
She molded me to this personality all by herself.
I owe my education, behaviour, character … everything to this lady. Her education was only 7th grade pass, ie middle school.
She got married at 12 to my father who was 20, a high school graduate, (the first high school graduate in that tiny village.)
My mother insisted that I should have a good education . I was very small to my age and lazy to do any work involving any strain to my body.

“Ok, you are such a lazy fellow, you better study hard to get a good education, a good job and a good pay, so that you can hire people to do the work you hate to do by yourself.”
And I did.
I went to a professional college and became an Electrical Engineer.
(Actually what I wanted was to become a simple house wife like my mother, so that I only have to take care of the children and think about what to cook for breakfast 🍳, lunch 🥗, dinner 🥘 etc & nothing serious about projects or how to run an office etc… lesser responsibility, I thought!)
So I owe everything to my mother.
The compassion, love 💕, sympathy, simplicity, caring for others, not to tell lies, not to be jealous, going to church, dress neatly, how to be classy, how to be down to earth 🌍,
all and everything she taught me before she left.
Thank you AMMACHI (Mother) for everything. I call you everyday at least once, sometimes in my sleep too or when I am getting up.
Be happy and peaceful wherever you are, your kids are fine!

I was very lucky to have a Mother who was there to lift me up when ever I fell.
Come to think of it-
The girl who got married at the tender age of 12 was trying to live the childhood she missed through me.
She sent me to study dance, classical music, acting, to play musical instruments, swimming,(etc) and provided me with extra help to excel in school.
She made me believe that knowledge is power. It doesn’t matter how you look, if you have a good education, everybody will respect you and you will be crowned for your life.
Knowledge is the most precious and permanent skill that stays with you through out your life.
She insisted to wear the clothes that added dignity to your beauty, not disrespect.
“A little make up goes a long way.”
“First impression is the best impression, so always be presentable.”

But, still, my mother was not my favorite. I saw her only as the main disciplinarian of the family and the food provider when I was hungry. She never pampered or hugged or kissed me. The first time she kissed me since I had grown up was when I delivered my first son. She was outside the delivery room waiting and waiting …
My labor was long.
I didn’t cry loudly, though, since she had already instructed me not to for when it is over, you might have to look at the faces of all those people who heard you crying so loudly and it would be a big shame.
As usual, I just obeyed her. So she didn’t hear any sound from the labor room for more than two hours. By the time they announced the delivery, she came running with tears in her eyes… She didn’t even look at the baby. She came and stood near me, touched my face and kissed my forehead and said, “ Why didn’t you make any noise? When I didn’t hear any sound, I thought you had gone forever.” Then she hugged me & kissed my forehead again and again. I will never forget those desperate kisses from my mother, since I seldom got kisses from her.

My father was my favorite. There was nobody to make me understand the big role my mother had played in my family or my life. But she had kept my father up on a pedestal all the time and made us believe there was nobody equivalent to him in our family. No one so capable, hardworking, and intelligent. So, I kind of worshipped my father. He pampered me a lot. But he was very hot tempered. Never in my life, have I seen my mother talking back to him. Not when they had a fight, or when he was upset or lost his normal poise. She never badmouthed him. She kept him to next to God and taught all of his children to treat him like God. There was nobody to tell us how smart or capable my mother was. It was only after my father died that, little by little, I became closer to my mother and began to truly know her. It was as if somebody opened my third eye. I suddenly became aware of all her capabilities and how much effort she had put in to shape each one of her kids, to become somebody special. Then, I started to love and respect her more than my father.

I watched her all the time, when she sewed and learned everything she did on it, how to balance the pedalling at low speed or high speed, threading, filling the Bobbin 🧵, cleaning the inside where Bobbin is kept, how to increase/decrease the tension of the thread, changing the needle…
That’s how I learned the repairing of sewing machines. But by ten, I learned everything about sewing machine. Still I will never think of my Mom as a perfect person, she had her own flaws.
But I know anything good I have in me, she nurtured.
I often wonder how did she collect that much wisdom to lead us through the right path, even if she didn’t have a good education, a social life learn from others, a chance to see/mingle with people in other countries?
I am very much amazed when I think about all these.
But one thing I know about myself is, that I always listened to what she said, even though I agreed or disagreed with what she said.
I kept all her advice in my mind. They always come back to me as chimes of a church bell, when I am in trouble to remind what is the right thing to do at that particular instant.
Thank you God, for giving me such a wonderful lady as my Mother!